Find me Again
by liveynikole
Summary: Edward left her, he thought he was doing what was best. but whats gonna happen when he comes back three years later to find that Bella has a little bronze haired brown eyed little girl ? AH
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Its been three years since Edward left me. This day is tough, all I can think about is Edward and the love we shared. I remember the day we met, god, I thought he hated me, then a few weeks later I fainted in biology and he rushed me to the nurse. Jesus I miss him. I need him now more than ever.

"Momma." That would be my little Renesmee. When Edward left he didn't know I was pregnant. I would have told him but it seemed like he had fallen off the face of the Earth. His phone was cut off, I had no idea where he was. His family wouldn't talk to me. The boy just disappeared. Even my dad, the chief of police, couldn't find him. " Momma! Its time for my bath!" She whined. Renesmee Carlie Swan loves her bath time.

"Alright babygirl," I said as I picked her up, "lets go get you cleaned." She looks just like her father, she has his bronze colored hair and the shape of his eyes although she has my eye color and nose. She has his skin color. Not to mention she acts just like him. I swear to god when she rolls her little eyes and shakes her head she looks identical to him. She has curly hair just like her grandpa Swan, ringlets that fall just past her shoulders. It breaks my heart to look at her sometimes.

My babygirl was so beautiful, I just know Edward would love her to pieces. She would have him wrapped around her tiny little fingers. She would be the light of his life. I hate the way things ended and I hate that he doesn't know her.

*Flash Back*

"Bella, come take a walk with me," Said Edward with a pained expression. So I walked with him. We went a little way into the woods. He finally looks at me. "Bella, we are leaving town".

"Ok well , I have to think of something to tell Charlie", He looked up at the sky then closed his eyes, then it dawned on me, "When you say we..."

"I mean my family and myself". He replied, looking dead at me, still with that pained expression on his face.

My face got hot and tears pricked in my eyes, threatening to spill over and fall onto my cheeks. He's leaving me, Edward was leaving and there wasn't anything I could do about it. "Why?"

"We aren't good for each other, Bella, we are complete opposites. I'm sorry but I'm just not happy anymore. You've been so moody lately. Its giving me whip lash. I'm sorry but it's done. I have to go." I never saw him again after that. Not at school or in town. He was just gone. He was like a ghost.

*End of Flash Back*


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I ran Renesmee's bath water and sat on the edge of the tub, thinking about Edward. God I miss him. I wish he could have been there for Renesmee. To watch her grow from an infant to a toddler. I wish he was here for her.

I undressed my little princess and put her in the tub. I watched her as she laughed and played. I'm so blessed to have such a healthy beautiful little girl like her. She is the only thing that keeps me going.

I got her out after about thirty or so minutes of her playing and splashing. "Lets get you dressed baby so you can go to the store with mommy, ok?" she nodded her little head, wrapped her towel tight around her little body, and ran straight to her bedroom. I dressed her in black shirt with white sleeves and black leggings, along with her black ankle boots.

"Do I look pwetty momma?" I smiled at her I love how she mixes her R's with W's. It was so adorable.

"Yes babygirl you always look pretty." I scooped her up and put her in her toddler seat and strapped her in. We drove to the store, Renesmee singing along with the radio the whole way making me laugh and smile. As I parked the car I saw a silver Volvo that reminded me of Edward. Damn him for what he did. Damn him for leaving me. I cant regret him tough, for he gave me the greatest gift in the world. He gave me that beautiful little girl of mine, and for that I'll always be grateful.

We walked in hand-in-hand. I grabbed a buggy and put her in the kiddy seat, buckling her in. While looking at the sales paper I bumped into someone, "oh, I'm so sorry, I..." I stopped mid sentence when I saw who it was, Edward Cullen, the father of my little bronze haired girl. I looked from Renesmee to him, then did it again. She looked so much like him, he was bound to notice.

"Bella?" he said, his eyes locked with mine, all my old feelings came rushing back full force. The love I have for him, the strong urge to run up and hug him. He looked good. God I miss him. He looked me up and down, I guess soaking in my presence.

Renesmee snapped me out of it when she started tugging on my shirt. "Momma, who's your fwiend?" thats when he realized. He looked at Renesmee, then at me, and back again.

"Edward, would you like to come have dinner with us? There is something I need to talk to you about." I stared at him, daring him to say no when it was obvious what I needed to tell him. He nodded, not taking his eyes off of Renesmee. We finished our shopping and headed to the house with Edward following us.

"Renesmee, honey, why don't you go play while I start dinner, ok babygirl?" She nodded and ran towards her room.

Edward waited till she was out of sight then turned to me, "how old is she?" Getting straight to the point.

"She is 27 months, 2 years and 5 months to be exact.", no point in freaking out.

"But then that means...why the hell didn't you tell me Bella? How could you keep her from me?", he shouted, startling me a little.

"Ok one, keep your voice down, Nessie is in the other room. For two, I didn't keep her from you. I couldn't get a hold of you, hell even dad tried. It was like you fell off the face of the Earth! Don't blame me when you're the one who left, you cut your phone off. Your family wouldn't talk to me, how the hell was I suppose to tell you, telepathy? This isnt my fault Edward."

"She doesn't know I'm her dad, does she?" He looked so upset, not like his usually happy, go lucky self.

"Well don't you think it would have been a little awkward if she would have said, 'Hi, I'm your daughter, Renesmee. Mommy tells me you left, why'd you leave daddy?' don't you think. No, of course she doesn't." I answered sarcastically. He jumped back in surprise, hurt washing over his face. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just upset right now. You've been gone for 3 years and now your back and I have to explain to Renesmee who you are and where you've been all this time. Where have you been Edward? Why'd you leave me?" Tears fell down my face. Just before he could answer, Renesmee came out.

"Mommy, is dinner weady yet, I'm stuper hungry." She came up and tugged on my pants. "Mommy!" I looked down at her and patted her head.

"Almost baby, go watch tv and I'll call for you when its done." she smiled and nodded then ran to the livingroom to watch the little mermaid. "Look we will talk about this later, right now you need to focus on getting to know your daughter. Hope you like spaghetti, its her favorite.", he nodded the went and sat on the other end of the couch, watching the disney movie with our babygirl. What a beautiful sight.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Renesmee's POV

Mommy told me to go play, which probably means she needs to talk to Mr. Edward about something really important. Mommy never sends me out of the room unless its something she doesnt want me to hear.

Mr. Edward has hair like mine. He is the only other person who has hair like mine. Is that cool or what! I've been playing in here for a while and I'm really hungry. Maybe mommy and Mr. Edward are done talking now. As I'm walking in I stop.

"How the hell could you keep her from me Bella!" That was Mr. Edward. What does that mean? I'll just ask mommy later. I ran back to my room and waited a little longer. Is he my daddy? The only other grown up is Jake and I know he's not my daddy. Uncle Jake is my bestest friend. Maybe Mr. Edward is my daddy. I've never had a daddy before.

Maybe its safe to go in now. Its quiet so thats a good sign. "Momma, is dinner ready yet? I'm stuper hungry." Mommy didn't answer me so I tugged on her pants, "Mommy!"

"Almost baby, go watch tv and ill call you when its ready, ok babygirl?" I love my mommy, she's so nice. I smiled and ran to the livingroom and watched my favorite movie, the little mermaid.

Mr. Edward came and sat by me, " Do you like the little mermaid too?" I asked him, "I like it 'cause it gots fisheys that swim everywhere and its gots peoples with tails, can peoples really have tails, Mr. Edward?"

"I do like the little mermaid and I don't know if people really have tails, do you think they do?" He seems nice enough to me.

"Well, I don't gots a tail and you don't gots a tail either, so maybe peoples cant have tails." I said with a serious look on my face. "Can mommies have babies without a daddy?" This is a serious question. I need to know this stuff.

"Um, well, everyone has a daddy sweetheart."

"Well all I gots is Grampa Charlie and Uncle Jake. Wheres my daddy?" How come I don't gots a daddy? Mr. Edward says everyone has a daddy, so where mine?

"Dinners ready!" That was mommy. I don't think she would like us talking about this.

"We will finish this later, I'm stuper hungry, but I really want to know where my daddy is." He just smiled at me and patted my head.

"Maybe me and your Momma will talk to you about it later, but for now lets eat and don't tell your momma what you asked me. It will probably upset her." I nodded and walked to the kitchen. I wont tell, I don't want to upset mommy.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I walked into the living room and sat by Renesmee, my daughter. She is so beautiful. There is no question as to if she was really mine. That bronze colored hair said it all. That is my baby right there and I'll be damned if she goes on without me any longer.

"Do you like the little mermaid too?" she asked me, "I like it 'cause it gots fisheys that swim everywhere and it gots peoples with tails, can peoples really have tails, Mr. Edward?" Mr. Edward? Really, I'm her father and before I leave here she is going to know it.

"I do like the little mermaid, and I don't know if people can really have tails, do you think they can?" I don't want to crush her little dreams, best to let her figure it out on her own.

"Well I don't gots a tail and you don't gots a tail, so maybe peoples cant have tails." She looked so serious. It was adorable. She's a little angel, I love her already. "Can mommies have babies without a daddy?" That took me a back. How do I answer this?

"Um, well, everyone has a daddy sweetie." I hope that is enough for her. This is really uncomfortable.

"Well all I gots is Grampa Charlie and Uncle Jake," my face hardened at his name. Me and Jake never really got along because he has always had the hots for MY Bella. "Where is my daddy?" her face looked so sad and confused. It honestly broke my heart. I have got to talk to Bella about this after dinner. I want Renesmee to know who her daddy is.

"Dinner's ready!" Bella called, thank god. I don't think Nessie would have let this go. I started to walk off to the kitchen when Renesmee stopped me.

"We will finish this later, im stuper hungry, but I really want to know where my daddy is." Im right here Renesmee, and im not going anywhere. I promise. Now I just have to win Bella back. God I have missed her.

"Maybe me and your momma will talk to you about it later, but for now let's eat and don't tell your momma what you asked me, it will probably upset her." She nodded and ran to the kitchen, bronze ringlets bouncing as she went. She was simply precious.


	5. AUTHORS NOTE

Authors Note

I am currently looking for a Beta, if you interested please let me know .

Thank you , LiveyNikole (:


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Edwards POV

We sat at the table and ate our dinner in peace. Me and Bella chatted while Renesmee ate. I told Bella with my eyes that we really needed to talk to her. She understood, she always did. God I missed her. I should never have left her three years ago. I thought I was doing what was best. I was just out of high school, Bella still had a year left. She had good grades and great potential; she could have made something of herself. I was nothing, a screw up. Everyone said I'd never amount to anything. I wanted better for her, but instead I gave up everything. I gave up my family. If I'd have known she was pregnant I would have never left.  
I would have been there for everything. Renesmee would have her father, and Bella would have me. I messed everything up. I just hope Bella will forgive me. I want, no I need to be in Bella and Renesmee's life. I wish I would have broken sooner. If I did I would have been here. I wanted to come back since day one but I kept telling myself that this is what's best for Bella. That she deserved better, and she did. But I made a stupid mistake and because of it the love of my life suffered and so did my daughter.  
Dinner was finally over. Bella told Renesmee to go get ready for bed, that she would be up to help her in a bit. This was it. It's time to tell her why I left and why I came back.

"Ok Edward, you wanted to talk, let's talk. Why did you leave?" She was angry, and rightly so.

"I thought it was what was best at the time. I didn't want to hold you back. I wanted you to have a better life."

"Does it look like I've had a better life? I was a single mother by the time I got out of school. I was labeled the town whore for most of my senior year because my childs father up and left. Just disappeared. I would never regret Renesmee so don't put that idea in your head but damn Edward. I needed you. I begged your family to tell me where you were but they wouldn't. they didn't believe that I was pregnant with your child. Only Alice believes me, but no one ever told her where you were or at least that's what she said…" oh god…

*Flashback*

Alice calls Edward  
"Alice please, don't tell her. It's important to me."  
"But Edward, there's something you need to know-"  
"Alice! Stop, don't tell me. I can't handle it, I got to go. Bye, love you.

*End of Flashback*

"Oh my god!" I'm so fucking stupid!

"What, what is it Edward?" Bella asked.

"She tried to tell me but I hung up before she could. I wouldn't answer after that. I'm so fucking stupid!" I punched the couch. I cant believe myself. Why the fuck didn't I listen!


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"She called me about two or three months after I left, saying she needed to tell me something important, that she wanted to know where I was so she could tell you. I hung up before she could. I'm so fucking stupid!" How could I be so stupid? If I wouldn't have hung up on her I would have known about Renesmee, my daughter. I would have been here.

"She talked to you?" She looked as if she was about to cry. "She promised if she heard from you she would let me know. I trusted her!" Tears fell from her eyes. I'm ruining everything.

"I'm so sorry Bella, can you ever forgive me? I want to be here, for you and _our_ daughter." I held my hand out, hoping she would take it.

"Why did you come back?" She asked me, staring me down, demanding the truth. I looked at her tear soaked face, one tear escaping her. That one tear showing me how she truly felt inside. She was broken.

I reached to brush the tear away, "I couldn't stand to be away from you any longer. It was like I was there but not there really. I was broken. I had to come see you. Please let me stay. I need you. I know I failed you before but I promise I'll never leave you again. I swear to be the best I can be for you and Renesmee just please give me a chance." My hands cupped her face and she leaned into them. This felt good, it felt right.

"You have to prove it to me Edward. I can't just let you into Renesmee's life without knowing for a fact that you won't leave again. I won't put her through that kind of pain. I can't." I could see she was serious. "I kept waiting on you to come back. I kept hoping that I was enough for you. You never came though."

She was sobbing now. I can't believe this, this beautiful woman still wanted me. Even after my leaving her. I won't fail her again. I can't. I made a stupid mistake and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to fix it. I pulled her in for a hug, she clung to me like I was her life line.

"I love you so much Bella. I'm sorry for what happened three years ago. Please, tell me you will take me back. I need you."

She lifted her head and looked me in the eyes, "If it was just me I would take you back in a heartbeat, but it's not just me. Renesmee comes first and I have to do right by her. You have to show me that you won't leave when it starts getting tough. I can't just bring you into her life because I won't put her through that kind of heartache. Prove it to me Edward."

"How?" I'd do anything.

"I can't tell you that. You have to show me, I can't make it easy by telling you how to do it."

"I'll do anything Bella. See if Charlie or, I hate to say it, Jacob will watch Renesmee tomorrow evening. I'd like to take you on a date." She looked surprised. I just want to spend some time with her.

"You really need to get over this thing with Jake. I'm not snatching him out of Renesmee's life just because you came back. She loves Jacob, and he is good with her. I'll promise you this though, he has never babysat her. I wouldn't do that. She is my baby girl. I don't let guys watch her. I'm funny about that. The only guy who watches her is my daddy." Good, cause if that fuckhead even looked at her the wrong way I'd pull his fucking head off!


	8. Chapter 8

**I just want to say something before you start reading. I realize that she is being easy going about his leaving. She hasn't taken him back yet but this is an Edward/Bella story. She is doing what is best for her daughter, keeping distance. If you don't like the way this story is going then don't read it. This is how I picture it going.**

** Thank you, LiveyNikole.**

Chapter Seven

Bella's POV

Edward left around 8:30. I told him I would think about what he said and call him in the morning. We exchanged numbers and he told me he couldn't wait to hear from me.

I went to Renesmee's room and grabbed her favorite book, Sleeping Beauty. As I sat on the edge of her bed she looked at me, confusion in her eyes, "What's wrong sweetheart?"

"I gots a question, but I don't want you to cry." I nodded, "Can Mr. Edward be my daddy? He gots hair like mine and he likes the little mermaid and he's nice to me. Would you be upset if he was my daddy?" My heart broke, Renesmee already loves him. I wish I could tell her, but I can't risk him hurting her like he did me.

"Babygirl, I can't promise you that. What I do know is you will always have me. I'll talk to Mr. Edward, okay?" Her face fell. I walked outside and lite up a cigarette. I don't know what to do. I need to talk to Edward; he needs to start proving himself to me. I need him right now. I pulled out my phone and stared at the screen. Should I call him? I hit the green button and waited. It rang one...two...three times then he answered.

"So you've decided already, have you?" He's so charming; it's one of the things I've always loved about him. He has so much confidence.

"It's about Renesmee."

"Is she alright? Bella please tell me she's ok." I heard the clanking of car keys and the door slamming shut behind him.

"She's fine, but you do need to get over here. We need to talk to her. Together. Please don't leave me to do this by myself again. She wants you to be her daddy Edward. Can I trust you with that? I can't let you break her heart like you did mine." I heard his car crank.

"I've never wanted anything this much. I need to be her father, and I need to be with you. I'm not talking moving in or anything just let me into your lives."

"Just get here, we will discuss it more then."

"I'm fixing to turn on your road." I waited outside, just as he pulled in I flicked the butt into the grass.

"Step on that will you, we need to sit out here and talk. I can't risk her hearing us, because I'm not entirely sure we should tell her yet."

"Bella, she needs to know."

"If you would have been here she already would know!" I snapped, he should have never left. "Why wasn't I enough for you? Why did you go? You could have stayed, you could have had all of this. Me, your daughter. But no, you didn't want me, you just left like I was shit on the bottom of your shoe. How is that right Edward, how am I suppose to forgive that?" I don't know what I'm doing. "You never wanted me because I was never good enough. I'm still not good enough." I broke down into tears. I haven't felt this way in a long time.

"Bella please, you are good enough. You always have been, it's just me. I'm not good enough. I'll never be good enough for you. That's why I left. I wanted you to find someone better, but then again I didn't. I wanted you to be only mine forever. I promise you. There was never a day that I didn't miss you, think about you, or pull up a picture of you on my phone. There was never a day that you didn't cross my mind. I have missed you since the second that I left you in the woods three years ago and I have regretted it every day. I still regret it and I always will. I just want to try and make things right." I couldn't take it anymore. I ran up to him and kissed him. It felt just like old times. Like we were back in high school. Like before he left me.

"Don't you ever do that to me again, do you understand me?" he kissed me back with such passion, like he needed it, craved it. Like he couldn't get enough of it. We stayed like that for a minute then pulled apart. "We need to talk to Renesmee; she needs to know who her daddy is." I know that, I just don't know if it's what is best at the moment…

**Please let me know what you think. I do the best I can on this story. **

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	9. Authors Note 2

**I am going to update this story very soon but can anybody give me some ideas? Im sort of stuck . it would be greatly appreciated**


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